Second Child - Part 2

Time was getting closer for Second Child to join our family. We had decided not to test him for hemophilia until he was born. My OB was so fabulous! He helped to make sure we coordinated well with Primary Children's hospital to ensure the delivery of my son went as smoothly as possible. When First Child was born he was poked a lot because they were running many different blood tests. These multiple pokes caused bleeds and in turn caused more problems. We wanted to eliminate these problems for Second Child, especially if he had hemophilia. We made sure we had a plan in place so that all the medical staff involved knew exactly how we wanted his birth handled.

We decided to use Second Child's umbilical cord blood to test for hemophilia, that way we could eliminate unnecessary poking. There were also orders in place that no forceps or items like that would be used during labor in order to minimize potential trauma. In addition, he would not be circumcised or given any shots until after the hemophilia test results came back. I felt so calm having all this in place. I was confident in my doctor and I was comfortable with how things had been set up. Now all we had to do is wait for the big day.

In the very early morning of April 3, 2003 I went into labor. At the hospital I remember looking out the window. It was one of those years that winter decided to stay longer than necessary and a soft snow was falling down. I worried about the doctor being able to drive safely to the hospital because the snow was starting to stick to the roads. Luckily, he lived very close to the hospital. Second Child came much faster than First Child. Once I had gotten to the hospital, Second Child came only 3 hours later. We were over joyed when we could finally hold him in our arms. We were so thankful to have another healthy baby in our family.

The doctors and nurses followed through with all that we had planned. The cord blood was taken and sent off to the lab. In my mind, I had already determined that Second Child would have hemophilia. I had to mentally prepare myself for what my future was going to be like. I pictured lining the boys up for their pokes. Poking First Child then moving onto the Second Child (and of course they would both be angels and not fight me during the pokes). I thought back to having an infant with hemophilia again. That stage of hemophilia, for me, was definitely the hardest. If First Child was crying and I couldn't console him, my first thought would be, "Does he have a bleed? Or is he just crying because his head hurts or his tummy doesn't feel good or does he just feel like crying?!!" It was difficult for me because this helpless little baby couldn't verbally tell me what was wrong. I had to go with my mother's intuition and pray that it was correct.

It took two days for the hemophilia test results to come back. My husband got the call from our nurse at Primary Children's hospital. He called me immediately with the news. He said, "We got the test results back...Second Child does not have hemophilia". We both broke down crying. I was so thankful that Second Child wouldn't have this trial in his life. But then the thought struck me, First Child is in this alone...he won't have a little buddy to say, "Hey, it really stinks when we have to poke and mom misses" or "Hey, isn't it pretty awesome that we both get so much attention because we are so tough and can handle pokes" or "Hey, I really wish we could play tackle football together". I felt a deep sadness for First Child and that he wouldn't have this bond with Second Child. So, in the same moment I was crying for both of my children for two very different reasons.

Things happen for a reason. I don't know or even understand the reason but I will accept whatever I am given. I will always move forward with faith and try to understand that there is a bigger picture, to this thing we call life. I'm am so thankful for my little family and the experiences that we get to enjoy together.